It has come to our attention that certain people have labeled us “The most evil place in history”. We would like to clarify our position on the mater. Our position is that this does not bother us in any way.
On the contrary, we are glad that someone thought of us as being higher up the food chain than the likes of Los Pollos Hermanos, or Vancouver. We also managed to beat Rome, the Soylent Corporation and Lexcorp.
To prevent any future corporation from stealing our spot, we have taken some extreme measures. As of now, plans are underway to launch our new subsidiary, Cyberdyne Systems. That way, nobody else can come up with it and threaten the existence of mankind. We’ll use it purely for noble purposes, such as extracting fur from little kittens. Promise.
We hope that this manages to tone down your fears and that you will continue to invest with us. To mark this special event, for one month, we are removing all restrictions on transactions involving baby seals (taxes and fees may still apply).